Being In Love

I'm nearly nineteen and I barely know the feeling of being in love. In my 17 months of being in a relationship, I've never been in a state of almost dying because of excessive fireworks exploding in my stomach. I may be mendaciously speaking but believe me, I'm undergoing some melodramatic thinking about how things are going. I've been falling in and out of love insensibly for the past months. I detest the feeling of being trapped by a relationship that is barely working. I've been trying hard to make everything right, or at least right to you. You are obviously nonchalant of the things I do for you, for us. You always put the blame on me where in fact should have put on you. You are taking advantage of the fact that I can't afford to lose you. You don't care what I really feel. You don't even care if I'm going through hell. Pain and ache have been killing me, softly but surely, since the very first day I laid my heart on you. And do you have any idea what hurts the most? It is when I needed you most, talking to you with a broken heart, and you, I don't know why, were responding to me like I was just playing around. That's what kills me, pieces to pieces. You didn't care, honestly, because that's what I felt. Do you know what I've been thinking lately? Yes, I wonder if you really know me. I wonder if you know my favorite flower -- I bet you don't.

Novels Are Better Than Reality

The undeniable fact is, I'm almost quitting on reading Nicholas Sparks' tear-jerking novels since I'm having a wrong impression about the true meaning of authentic love. It is not surprising in his novels how two strangers from diverse world come to cross a similar path together. I have to admit that he really is a great writer but sometimes, I find it hard to understand if that kind of love he undoubtedly mentioned is still existing -- or did exist. This applies to all kind of relationship. But romantically speaking,  it is very touching how lovers risk everything to be with each other, to hug each other, to kiss each other, to end up together. 

Unfair Lang Talaga

Unfair. Baket? Simple lang naman yon. Ang taong mahal mo, pinapabayaan ka, pinapaiyak at sinasaktan. At ang taong hindi mo naman mahal ay ginagawa ang lahat para lang maging masaya ka. Nakakalungkot lang kasing isipin eh. Parang ganito lang:

Unexpected

My Ingkong (lolo) had a mild stroke last Friday. But we did not know it just yet because he told us that he just slipped and got some injuries and his right foot aches too bad. When we checked up on him this morning, we found out that he had a mild stroke that's way he can't move properly.

Today, I felt the sympathy that I've never felt in my entire life. I can't imagine that he can't move on his own already, that he needed company to do things that he used to do alone. I was sad, knowing the fact that the person who took care of me when I was a child, is now a handicapped person. I know it's time to return the favor. But I don't know if I can handle it. Seeing him like that makes my heart beat fast.

Yes, I know God has a purpose. It happened because it has a reason. Please, Almighty Father, help my Ingkong recover from this tragedy that happened to him. Don't let him give up, don't let him give up.. please